melanie

its missing the yellow lines of god knows what criss-crossing it but ill just leave that to your imagination. MAN it's nasty!

Current Mood:

grossed out

 point two, we have nine baby lemurs and are charging people $45 to spend an hour playing with them. now we're doing 6 people at a time with the lemurs, every hour, all day. theyre really short staffed though so want to train me to do the tours (thats what theyre calling it.. a tour, even though you stay in one room). there are three different kinds of lemurs and yes theyre adorable but theyre not really my thing. i mean, yeah, they're primates but barely! they're like... one of the first primates. they have anal glands for gods sake! and the males have them in their wrists as well as their ass. so they can get that stinky nastiness on you from either end! woo! and they stink in general. and theyre not that smart. theyre like a dog. 

ok several hours have passed and i dont know where i was going with that. anyway today was certainly a turning point in my relationship with pharoh (the male baboon) and i almost lost something very near and dear to me: my phone. it was a good and bad day i guess but i think the good outweighs the bad by a lot. alright. so. normally i have a key when im in the baboon enclosure but we're so short staffed that we only had one manager working and even *she* didnt have a key. so i asked some other girl if she had a 26 key and she did and let me borrow it. so i got it and went in with the baboons and shortly after, she came with their lunch and i gave her her keys back. so now i was locked in, but i had my phone so i felt fine. i could always call someone to get me out. so for a couple hours everything was normal, my babies were playing with eachother and grooming me and napping on me and i was telling people about them and answering questions. then i just went to look at my phone to see what time it was and pharoh is always interested in phones and whenever i take it out, he comes and sits on my lap and i hold it, and he holds it too and he looks at the screen and pushes buttons and sometimes he tries to bite it but i stop him. but today for some reason, that wasnt enough and he took my phone. now, getting something back from a baboon is someting that is VERY difficult. it would have been very different if, say, an orang took it. i could easily trade them something for it or even just scold them a little and they would give it back. but with baboons, once they have something, if you try to take it, they get pissed. males especially, of course. so to get it back i went with passive ways to try to trick him into losing interest, as my personality dictates. like, im not yell-y or physically aggressive but i *am* clever. hehe :) anyway, i tried everything i could think of. i acted like i was leaving but he knew i didnt have any keys. then i pretended to not want it anymore but that didnt do anything either. and during all this he was biting my phone and grinding it in the dirt and we have one of these in their cage:
 
except it's filled with water. and he kept going over to it and sitting on the edge while chewing on my phone and i almost had a heart attack. this was all going on for quite a while and i couldnt call for help for obvious reasons. so not only was i freaking out about my phone but it was also kind of embarrassing to have lost all control and all these people were watching. so i started getting pissed and throwing things at him and yelling at him. now, all this got him more worked up, but it let him know what he was doing was wrong and bad and i was mad. he started screaming and going into full baboon mode. he attacked my right leg and even through my pants, my knee is fucked up bad. and the pants are basically khaki colored jeans, so thats pretty impressive on his part. he also tore my right hand up pretty badly because that was the one i was using to try to get the phone back. so im bleeding all over the place and still pissed off when he ran by me a little to close and i grabbed his tail. as he was turning to bite me, i kicked my phone out of his hands (more like i kicked his hands and the phone went flying) and just before he attacked again i grabbed the scruff of his neck and held him down on the ground. he was screaming bloody murder and squirming and trying to get up but i held him down and i kept holding him down until he calmed down. then i let go and he immediately just sat up and started grooming me like nothing happened. i didnt know how bad my knee was but my hand was disgusting. big pieces of skin hanging off in several places and a lot of puncture wounds and a lot of blood. so now that i finally had my phone, i called joanne (the supervisor there that day) and was like "can you come get me out of the baboons cage?" and she was like "no" and i was like "please? i need first aid." and she was like "oh, ok, ill get someone over there" eventually someone did come and theres more craziness to the story about how hard it was to leave but im really tired of typing. so the bad part was, of course, that i got hurt pretty badly, but the good part is, that was the first time i ever, like, asserted myself with hin. i mean, i'd been shown how to do the scruffing thing and to wait til they calm down to let them up but i always thought id never be able to do that. but i did do it. and no one was there to help me. i did it all by myself. i think the only way to get better at that kind of thing is practice. eventually ill be as good as the people that raised them- meaning i wont get mauled in the process. so yeah, im kind of proud of myself. :) i went head to head with a baboon and won. not without battle wounds but still. so i get today and tomorrow off because i have my whole hand bandaged up and have to change the bandages every couple hours to reapply neosporin and hydrogen peroxide and stuff. that and because of my knee, when i walk it looks like im doing a really bad impression of a retarded person. 

alright, thats it for now. let me know if any of you guys don't have facebook and want to see pictures of the orangs and a few of one of the infants.

Current Mood:

accomplished

so parrot jungle picked today to posion me and render me almost senseless (well.. at least minus two senses.. sight and smell). we finally got mulch for the twins' enclosure but it was cedar pine mulch, which wouldnt have been a problem except there was like... maybe.... 15 or 20 bags of about 10 lbs of mulch and all the mulch was wet.... now. as some of you know (actually probably only alan) i'm allergic to christmas trees. i didnt connect this to all coniferous pine trees so as i was spreading these massive piles of dampened cedar around, my eyes started burning... two of my friends were helping me and i asked "is this making your guys' eyes burn too?" and they were like 'uh.. no.' so i thought maybe it was just me. like, something wrong with my contacts. but then we kept spreading the mulch and my eyes went from burning, to incredibly painful, to swollen to the point of legal blindness. and then i felt like ants were biting me all over my body.  maria was actually the first person to suggest that maybe i was having an allergic reaction. and i left immediately because my eyes were hurting so bad that i at least had to go to the bathroom to rinse them out and it was only then that i realized cedars were pine trees... i dont know if they're the same trees used as christmas trees but they're pretty damn closely related. so i drove home as fast as i could, almost getting pulled over once.... this cop was behind be with her lights on and i pulled over to let her pass me and she pulled up next to me and started talking on her megaphone and i was like 'oh shit, shes actually talking to me..." but she was just saying  "you're fine, keep going!" 
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so as soon as i got home i spent about an hour in the shower loofah-ing off all the hive-y skin... thats probably not actually possible but in my head its what i was trying to do. my body isnt itchy anymore but my eyes still burn. and i got this beautiful specimen of an orangutan bite on my back. you can see all the individual teeth. its pretty cool. so aside from going to work and having it ruin my 4th of july, it was a really good day. the bite has nothing to do with the mulch.. just another part of the day. i bailed on the party because my eyes were killing me and you know what? they still are! someone better take me to the fucking beach this weekend. 
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oh, and on a completely unrelated and happier note, look at the air freshener im pimpin in my impala-ala-ala yeah yeah yeah yeah! mmmmm, obama smells sooooo good. on the back of the package it says "helps eliminate stinky Republican smell in four easy steps!" then it shows steps one through three peeling the plastic off the air freshener and step four is "vote"


i think it's about time we had a president that women (and some men) want to fuck back in the white house again. i mean, clinton had it but it wasnt as much his looks as it was his smooooooothness. and that sax. but come on. obama is hot. and he's, what, 27? so he kicks mccains old ass in sex appeal but hes also awesome in general. i love how "real" he seems. even if its just an act? its really fucking good and i fell for it. besides, do we *really* want an ex-POW as the leader of the free world? i mean... being a POW has *GOT* to fuck you up quite a bit. i was raped once like.. 9 years ago and my anger has yet to go away. this man was tortured for YEARS. i dont know... i just know if i were him and i was victimized the way he was for so fucking long? all i would want was to humiliate and demean those fuckers in front of the entire world. so yeah. i think we should look at any possible psychological ulterior motives. as well as the fact that the guy is like 38275075 years old. THE END. 
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OBAMARAMA!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood:

enamored with obama

when i went to the interview, as far as i knew, i would just be working with orangutans. the only things i knew about baboons are what i learned from tv and cartoons and shit so i always assumed they were some pretty crazy vicious sonsabitches. so anyway that same day after the interview, linda (my supervisor) said "well, do you want to go meet them?" and duh, of course i did! as we were walking over there she started talking about the baboons that were in the same enclosure (they have one "nursery" like enclosure for babies) and i was apprehensive to say the least. 

but now, i fucking love those baboons. they're my babies. they *are* crazy and a lot of people don't like them.. like a lot of the primate people won't go in with them. but that's not entirely because of the peoples dislike of them but also because of the baboons' dislike of them. they're very particular. i dont have any pictures with them but i do have some of when they were baby babies. SO FUCKING CUTE!

i have a few more stories i want to get down but im gonna grab a beer first. been a loooong day! hope you like the pics :)

oh and PS- when i showed these to my mom, she looked at the one of pharoh and was like "oh! look! hes circumsized!"...... no mom. just.. no.

Current Mood:

relaxed

So since I've been working at Jungle Island, which hasn't been that long relatively speaking.... like... 7 or 8 months? there have been several really big changes. one of which has been the addition of three adult orangutans. one male and two females. and both of the females have infants. im not sure on the ages of the females... i know connie is the oldest at around 32 and tasha is younger but still older than sinbad, who is 29. they all live in the same enclosure because theyve all been raised together. the owner of the park (dr. bern levin) has a farm where he raises all kinds of animals.. anyway, sinbad was the first adult to come. they couldnt bring the females yet because they were still preggo and you cant sedate em while they're pregnant. the other orangs we had were the twins that i work with, who are 4 and a half, and hannah (10) and jake (8). so the day they brought sinbad in i went to see him and was pretty taken aback. i had never seen a full grown orangutan; male or female. and he was BIG. he weighs 367 lbs and we can't even really measure his strength except to say it's between that of 10 to 12 grown men. and it's not like they're *that* big. i mean, im pretty sure they're smaller than gorillas, but their muscles are so densely packed it just gives them incredible strength. so anyway, in the enclosure sinbad and tasha and connie are in was a manhole cover. now the cover itself weighs 600 lbs (yes, six hundred) and on top of that is welded down. but the thing is, these are really intelligent animals and they get bored. the first thing sinbad did that brought our attention over was break off the piping to the licks-it (which is how they get water). it was like a fire hydrant gone crazy. water spewing everywhere. it was only then that me and brian noticed the fucking manhole cover was off. and it went directly down into the sewer system. now fortunately they werent going down the hole but they were dunking their upper bodies in there and scooping up water and drinking it so we had to take care of that real quick... especially with those babies there. we got all the orangs out of that enclosure (they're called "primadomes") that night so they could fix it the next day. and they did. only all they did was put the manhole cover back and reweld it in place. sinbad had it off almost as soon as we let him back in there so we had to go through the whole process again. this time they filled the hole with cement. 

now.. i knew sinbad, being a young but still adult male was absurdly strong but this.... this blows my fucking mind. i can't even... how the fuck.... it's just insane! how can something his size and weight be that strong!? and you know what else? bern had got him when he was an infant, 30 years ago. and apparently neutering wasnt as popular as it is now so sinbad was castrated. hes nowhere near as big or strong as non-castrated males can get (ie Jake. jake is going to be a monster. his mother is the largest female orangutan ever recorded and jake himself has always been way too big for his age).  but dont get me wrong, sinbad is the sweetest thing ever. and hes so smart. he does anything you ask him to and he loves people. like,, if i give him an ear of corn and he eats it and throws the cob aside and starts eating something else? if i ask for the cob, he'll pass it through the cage to me. same with banana peels or anything. he likes to be talked to and he likes his cheek pads to be scratched.  and his hands are probably close to two feet long. palm to fingertip. actually i just took out a ruler. id say more like one and a half feet long. i don't know if i said this in my last post so sorry if im being redundant but i can't help it... these animals amaze me every day. they  are constantly teaching me and i love it. i have some pictures of tasha and her baby on my phone ill try and upload tomorrow.  in the meantime, just try and fathom something being that strong. just try it. god, they're incredible. 

ps- i miss teh hally

Current Mood:

giddy

so i decided to do something with my lj. i imagine my friends aren't as fascinated or amused by my orangutan/baboon stories as i am so i'll put em down here. you might like em, you might not care, but i want to remember this stuff so.. yeah... ok so starting off with yesterday (6/25) it was just me and linda with the twins (twin girls, 4 and a half years old. strong as at least 4 grown men at this point) and pumpkin (shes a fatass, tipping the scales at 85 lbs) always wants me to carry her places. and i oblige because, really, i dont have much of a choice.  i mean, i could refuse and she would get upset and bite me and then id have to yell at her and shell pout and possibly throw a tantrum, so its just easier to do whatever she wants. anyway, yesterday i was carrying her all around the enclosure but she didnt get off me, meaning that wasnt where she wanted to go so i tried another place. a little ledge and she sat in there but held me close so i wouldnt leave. then maybe... i dont know... less than 5 minutes later, she wanted me to pick her up again so i did but i was still at a loss at what she wanted me to do so i just stood there for a minute, holding her, and then i asked "so where are we going now?" and she pointed at the ladder that leads to tthe top levels of the enclosure.. i mean, its possible it was just a fluke and she just pointed cause i wasn't going anywhere but still, it seemed pretty cool. and as far as her weighing 85 lbs (she just had her physical last week), im weighng 125 now.. so its quite a workout carrying her around.

later i was sitting with peanut who was very busy digging a hole in the gound. i saw a tiny earthworm in the dirt she had scooped out and picked it up with a stick for her to see, cause i know they like to play with bugs and eat em (hey, its good protein) . anyway, when i picked up the worm with the stick, it stopped moving. and i showed peanut the worm and i guess she didnt get what it was because it was really small or maybe she assumed it was dead because it wasnt moving... [oh, preface.. when orangs eat, they stuff a whole bunch of food in their mouths and chew it up and keep it in their mouths for a while playing with it and stuff. its all very pleasant.] so she looked at the earthorm for a bit and put it in her mouth. but just a little part of it. most of it was hanging out of her mouth. and then it moved and she flipped out! if she could talk, the words coming out of her mouth at that point would have been "WHAT THE FUCK?!" and she spit everything out of her mouth into the hold she had dug and burried it and patted down the dirt hard for a while as fast as she could. the also put some rocks on top of the burried food. 

theyre so fucking cute and amazing. i love them. ok thats it for now. im late! bye guys! miss you! <3

Someone please buy Alan this shirt:


( http://www.bluecollardistro.com/birbigshirts/product_info.php?products_id=1366&cPath=299_305&store=0 )

Thank You
- Management

Current Mood:

tickled

2) I just thought this was fantastic:
Melanie900: the juxtapositon of the conditions? lol you are talking such shit!
amp: Honey
Melanie900: yes baby?
amp: I invented praying mantis semen venom
amp: ya THINK?!
Melanie900: wait wait wait
Melanie900: the semen IS the venom?!
amp: no
amp: god
amp: the semen is semen
amp: it has venom IN it
amp: don't you know fucking ANYTHING?!

Current Mood:

giddy